The Force Goes Overboard Edition
If you follow me on Instagram, you may have seen my sporadic posts of increasingly bizarre Star Wars promotions. Mostly these are random products with Star Wars packaging and absolutely no tie-in to the movies.
Apples
This one really got me. No connection here. None. And then I considered that my bananas often have Minion stickers on them. But Minions eat bananas. I’ve never noticed Darth Vader slipping an apple slice through his mask.
There are apparently other fruit tie-ins not carried by my local supermarkets. (language warning)
Cotton Swabs
On the right you can glimpse some metal Star Wars tins that hold cotton swabs. The tin is attractive and reusable. The cotton swabs front and center, however, are stored in disposable packaging. There is nothing Star Wars-y about them. I imagine a creature with ears the size of Yoda’s might harbor substantial ear wax, but still . . .
–3–
Coffee Creamer
I can’t even . . .
–4–
Tea Infuser
Okay. This one at least capitalizes on the shape of the Death Star. I suppose this highly-overpriced infuser makes the perfect cup of Tauntaun tea.
–5–
Flameless Pillar Candle
Because everyone needs a color-changing LED Chewbacca candle for their Wookiee shrine, right?
–6–
Shower Head
I failed to take a photo of this at Bed, Bath & Beyond. These items are clearly “beyond.” I trolled the Internet for these images. I have to wonder if it wouldn’t have been better to create a shower head with Boss Nass spraying saliva, but what do I know?
–7–
Small Appliances
More gems I spotted but failed to photograph at Bed, Bath & Beyond.
Skin dry as a Tusken Raider’s? Rehydrate with this 2-litre droid humidifier!
Makes an image of the Blessed Mother on your toast look rather lame, doesn’t it?
I’m just scratching the surface here. The Cinnamon Toast Crunch didn’t make my top seven. And try Googling light saber chopsticks, Star Wars nutcracker, and Yoda tree topper. These items are the tip of a gigantic, Hoth-sized iceberg.
And, just for fun, here’s one I considered buying. Ladies and gentleman, I give to you, the Star Wars ugly Christmas sweater.
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You KNOW how the Wookie Creamer makes me feel. ::shudder::
I thought the Wookie Creamer was the best. I’d buy that.
Never been so glad to be a tea drinker.
But then you’ve got the tea infused for…**$20?!?**
True that.
Hilarious! I haven’t seen ANY of these…considering myself lucky! It’s bad enough having to get the 4-year-old past the Star Wars GoGurt at the store every week…
Oh, the yogurt tubes. They fight over who gets BB-8 and then they need an app to look at the images or something . . . Yeesh.
TheKid gets that yogurt (it’s that or “Frozen.” He’s an 8th-grade boy, so do the math there. He and his classmates have determined that the glow-in-the dark or light-up or whatever-it-does-besides-contain-yogurt does not work.
Yes – my 7th-grade boy has tried multiple times and it does not work.
I am overwhelmed.
As a big Star Wars fan my heart is jealous of the reckless promotions and secretly excited it is taking over the world.
I mean if it helps a kid eat an apple…
Overwhelmed it a good word. My kids get whiplash at the grocery story looking at all the Star Wars products!
I love all of these! So bizarre! (P.S: Now I’m curious how Star Wars apples taste…)
The fruit on Naboo looked pretty lush, so I figure the apples should be juicy.