I recently became a little worn out by prayer. Not by morning prayers, the Rosary, or any of the many little prayers I throw heavenward each day, but by intercessory prayers. Specifically, requests for them.

It seemed that every time I opened a social media app, I was bombarded by people’s prayer requests. There were multiple pleas for little girls seriously injured by accidents, fighting for their lives. There were pleas for parents with dementia, family members fighting cancer, siblings drowning in addiction, adult children who had abandoned their faith, jobs lost, relationships broken, struggles against persistent sins, and more.

You’ll have that when a substantial portion of the people you come in contact with on social media are Christians. We seek the intercession of those we know, and it’s a good thing. It’s efficacious too.

Yet, for some reason I keenly felt the weight of these crosses that were not mine to bear, not in the strictest sense. I did not know the vast majority of those requesting prayers. I would never encounter this number of prayer requests or this many hardships in real life.

I started skimming through feeds, trying to avoid people’s pleas. Because how could I not pray for those who have asked? Isn’t that the least I could do? What would it cost me to stop and say a quick Memorare or just ask that God grant strength and comfort?

And yet, I’d had enough. I keep a running mental list of those for whom our family prays for at night. I have a journal to which I add prayer intentions from time to time. Most of the time, we simply pray “for those whom we’ve promised to pray for.” Because I know I’ve forgotten someone. I can’t even remember if I bought that peanut butter we ran out of (as evidenced by the three jars that now sit on the shelf).

Surely I’m not the only one who has felt this way. I imagine those who tend toward scrupulosity struggle mightily with something like this.

So, how do I combat it? How do I integrate these prayers into my life without feeling overwhelmed and giving up on prayer all together?

As so often happens, I discovered a few clues in the weeks following my discouragement.

During adoration, I finally picked up my copy of Day by Day with Saint Faustina: 365 Reflections by Susan Tassone. And on the first day, I read this passage quoted from St. Faustina’s diary (1039):

“I suffer great pain at the sight of the sufferings of others. All these sufferings are reflected in my heart. I carry their torments in my heart so that it even wears me out physically. I would like all pains to fall upon me so as to bring relief to my neighbor.”

Yes! That’s exactly what I felt ! Save for the last bit because I’m not that holy yet. Yes, I’d like to relieve others’ pains, but outside of possibly my own children, I’m not so holy that I’m seeking to take on others’ pain. Don’t say I don’t keep it real here. I’d like to feel that kind of love, but in all honesty, I’m not often there yet.

In her reflection on this passage, Susan Tassone quotes Matthew 11:28:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.”

That is where my burdens belong. On Him. My weary heart will only find rest in Jesus.

Which draws me back to the purpose of prayer: relationship.

God is not a supernatural vending machine. It’s not as if I say this prayer or that or spend this many minutes praying and pleading, I can goad God into giving the result I wish for. Not even if it’s a good result. That’s why I try to add the addendum, “Thy will be done” to each prayer.

Even so, it’s hard to avoid a transaction-type mindset.

Coincidentally (or not), the Romans: The Gospel of Salvation Bible Study I’ve been participating in struck the same theme. Salvation is not a get-out-of-jail-free card. Jesus didn’t swap His life for ours.

That’s only half of the story. The other half is about new life. It’s about relationship.

The Paschal mystery has two aspects: by his death, Christ liberates us from sin; by his Resurrection, he opens for us the way to a new life. This new life is above all justification that reinstates us in God’s grace. . . . It brings about filial adoption so that men become Christ’s brethren . . . We are brethren not by nature, but by the gift of grace, because that adoptive filiation gains us a real share in the life of the only Son, which was fully revealed in his Resurrection. (Catechism of the Catholic Church, 654)

I know that means spending time with God. Seeking Him. Listening to Him. Sharing my heart with Him in praise, in thanksgiving, and, yes, in petitioning Him.

But, it’s hard.

It’s hard to have a relationship with someone I cannot see in human flesh. Someone I can not audibly here. Someone who doesn’t even send clear messages. He is silent so much of the time. So much.

Your mileage may vary, because I see all sorts of posts about God told me this, or the Lord said that, or this, that, or the other obvious response to my prayer happened. If that’s your spiritual life, God bless you. It is not mine. Not by a long shot.

Were this a purely human relationship, I would’ve given up years ago. But I know too much. I know He’s there. I know He listens. I know He speaks.

Sometimes He reveals Himself. Sometimes He doesn’t. Ninety percent of the time, I’m probably too distracted, dense, or oblivious to recognize Him.

This is the point where I wrap this all up into a neat, coherent package, right? Not quite gonna happen. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

• It’s okay to scroll by posts, especially if it helps me to avoid making prayer a superstition or my interaction with God akin to a banking transaction.
• It’s okay to feel overwhelmed sometimes. There is a tremendous amount of suffering in this world – physical, spiritual, mental, and emotional. It’s good that I’ve not numbed myself to others’ pain. I can lay their burdens and mine on Him.
• Prayer can be simple – raising my heart to God, uttering a sentence, or a catch-all for all those promised but forgotten prayers.
• Relationship is where it’s at. Requests from those whom I have a relationship with I take closely to heart. And when I petition God on their behalf, I should keep in mind that I am going to my Father, not a bank teller.

Let’s pray for each other.

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by prayer requests? How do you handle it?

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