Disobedience: Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

As a parent, I most often hear myself repeating the same instructions, “Hurry up,” “Leave your brother/sister alone,” or the ever-favorite, “Get off of the bed while I’m making it.” Other times, I’m saying bizarre things I never thought I’d hear myself say, such as, ” Get that Spider-Man out of the freezer,” “No, you can’t bring that rifle to church, ” or “Get your face out of your brother’s butt.”

But every once in a while, I say something that resonates with me. A few words that make me stop and re-examine them as you would a diamond in the sunlight, twisting it this way and that, examining it from all sides.

A couple of years ago, I escorted my teary, unhappy preschooler away from a store saying, “I can’t give you good surprises if you don’t obey.”

My little girl had been lollygagging again, trailing off behind me and not coming when called. I can’t remember what surprise I had in mind for her, but whatever it was, she’d lost it before it’d ever been offered.

How often have I been denied God’s “good surprises” because I did not obey? How can I receive His gifts if I do not cooperate with His plan?

Like my daughter’s, my disobedience isn’t outright. Rarely do I refuse to comply. Instead, I lollygag. I let His words roll off my back while I fritter away time and opportunity and generally drift off, complacent in the hope that I won’t be left behind. There’s time yet to catch up.

It’s easy to dismiss my disobedience as procrastination. Maybe a little laziness. But, in truth, I’ve failed to obey.

Just as I saw clearly the natural consequences of my daughter’s disobedience, I see the natural consequences of a disobedient culture, one that has relegated God and His commandments to the sidelines. It’s easy to see how our collective rejection of God’s plan for sexuality has resulted in the rotted harvest we now reap in pervasive misogyny, rape, divorce, abortion, and so much more. (See Humana Vitae at 50.)

It’s more difficult – or maybe more uncomfortable – to examine my personal sins, connecting my disobedience to the rotted fruits in my life. The absence of those “good surprises.”

Disobedience – or why we can't have nice things. Share on X

I don’t have a quick fix, although I think outright refusal to obey seems an easier problem to solve than the lukewarmness we know is repugnant to God. (Rev 3:15-16)

I think the fix is a long, slow one with plenty of backsliding and beginning again and again and again. One that involves prayer and fasting and a good, swift kick in the rear. And a reminder of this verse:

“Let your ‘Yes’ mean ‘Yes’ and your ‘No’ mean ‘No.’ Anything more is from the evil one.
 – Matthew 5:37

  • Which do you struggle with: outright disobedience or disobedience by apathy or sloth?
  • What have you said to children that you imagine God saying to you?

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Lover of Virtue, Lover of Christ

by Guest Blogger Virginia Lieto

I am a lover of virtue! There I’ve said it! I know that I am in a minority, because most people do not even think about virtue as they traverse throughout their day. I, on the other hand, live for virtue, because it is virtue that draws me near to Christ. I can’t think of a better place to be than near Christ. Maybe that is because I am also a lover of Christ: I want to be like Christ! I look up to Him; He is my role model. Continue reading

Conquering Self: The Growing Pains of Discipline

“But I don’t want to!”

I hear that complaint frequently from one of my children. It’s an age-appropriate response to a myriad of less-than-appealing tasks: cleaning up toys, getting ready for bed, trying certain foods, or ending playtime.

One of the best measures of maturity is willingly choosing to do things that we don't want to. Share on X

Plato Quote on Discipline

Most often, my response to my child’s complaint is a variation on the theme, “We all have to do things we don’t want to.”

After all, do I enjoy the many tasks I’m responsible for? Doing dishes four times a day? Changing poopy diapers? Administering discipline?

We choose to do unpleasant things because we know we must. We choose to do those things because we have foresight and know the consequences of our action or inaction. Sometimes because we’ve made a decision to love. Ultimately, we come to learn what’s good for us, and often that means self-denial. Continue reading

Patient Much? The Mindset of Endurance

In my Catholic grade school, we played what was known simply as “The Religion Game.” Short explanation: it involved a person guessing a religious terms using clues provided by teammates. One of the vocabulary terms committed to memory was ejaculation.

Ejaculation: a short prayer meant to be memorized and repeated throughout the day

In those pre-pubescent days, before its utterance would elicit a round of giggles and snickers, this five-syllable word had the potential to propel a team into the winner’s circle. In the ensuing years, the use of these little prayers fell by the wayside. Continue reading